why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
