So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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