you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize