I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
It's Friday. Sex?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Sober January is a disaster.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
