You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
