i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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