It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
