i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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