nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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