whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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