Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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