My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
