We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
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