It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Of course I have a pirate flag
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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