He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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