Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
