just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
