I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
