Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
