if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i will never coherently bang her
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
