the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
