I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
