Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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