Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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