This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
