Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
