She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
