I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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