i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
