Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I can feel your judgement through the phone
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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