Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
