Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
