found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
