No, you can still breathe under the balls.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
he fucked my hip out of place.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
