Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Fuck appropriateness.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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