How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
