he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
