Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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