It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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