Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
