windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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