You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He's a Shit stain on my heart
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
