I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
