Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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