I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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