well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
