Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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