I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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