Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
one two three fourrrrnication!
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
