The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
