apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Maybe he injected his testicle?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
